My husband, in a moment of reminiscing, told the tale of his boyhood shenanigans with fart spray on April Fools day while out hiking a couple months ago. I knew the tale being told was heavy on glory and extraordinarily elaborate for a 30+ year old memory than what was being presented. On the other hand, my son was completely absorbed in the whole story.
“How smelly was it?”
“Did you get into a lot of trouble?”
“Was it epic?”
My husband was holding court to an enthralled listener. I shook my head, gave a smirk, and proceeded to leave them alone with the story.
Epic? I don’t think so… but the bonding moment was more important.
That was until Chinatown over spring break when we happened upon this stuff…
Three glass vials of the most gross smelling, golden colored liquid a mom could possibly want her husband and child to get their hands upon. I protested. They were elated and made the purchase.
Within 24 hours of returning home the first vial was broken outside, on the sidewalk, with a mighty stomp. The smell was awful. It was everywhere. Including on the shoes that Ade wore to break the vial and then proceeded to track stench through the house, across the rugs, and out the back door.
Todd felt left out. He could smell the remnants of the vial in the house from hours earlier and quickly asked Ade to tell him about the event. Ade took him to the spot on the sidewalk and the two stood over it and admired the longevity of the smell and small oily splat. It was a bonding moment. Son had done what dad had done so many years before.
The next day, in the early morning, the second vial was broken by both of them. This time it was much more methodical. Two brown paper bags were used. One served as the base, the second placed on top to keep shoes from absorbing the smell -both bags worked in tandem as a containment and clean up measure. It was a success. So successful in fact they brought in the broken vial sandwiched between the bags to show me. In the house. Where the smell from the day before was still lingering. I kicked them both out for the day.
Fast forward to April Fools day. There was one vial left. The lingering smell of the last two vials had just left the house but the story of Todd’s fart spray at school was fresh and exciting. It had to be done and Ade was the one to do it. Legacy and all…
From what I understand Ade had been careful enough to place the vial between two paper towels prior to breaking the vial. He picked up the saturated towels, placed them in the garbage, and silently returned to his desk. The smell in the room was intensified by the unseasonably warm weather and lackluster ventilation in the building. The class was evacuated. The garbage taken to the dumpster and a firm finger waging was administer by the teacher.
When I picked him up from school Ade was surrounded by five boys, all giggling. A couple of them gave Ade a hearty backslap and their goodbyes. Ade was all grins.
He had his own epic story to tell.